📖Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

April 4, 2024

authors: Lindsay C. Gibson
year: 2015
url: https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents-ebook/dp/B00TZE87S4

Chapter 1. How emotionally immature parents affect their adult children’s lives

p.7 Children are unable to identify the lack of emotional intimacy with their parent. It isn’t a concept they have. Neither can they identify that their parents are emotionally immature.
p.8 Emotional intimacy is when you know that you have someone you can tell anything to. When you feel completely safe opening up to another person. “or by just being together quietly in a state of connection”
p.11 Lacking parental support, many emotionally deprived children are eager to leave childhood behind and become self-sufficient. They may become competent beyond their age/successful but this actually makes it hard for them to see and accept their pain.
p.17
As a human being, you can trust yourself to know when you’re emotionally satisfied.
p.20 Because children of emotionally immature parents don’t have experience of other people helping them to feel better, they may self-isolate instead of reaching out to people when they need help, making their situation worse.
p.21
Parental rejection doesn’t always result in low self-confidence. Some intelligent, resilient people somehow manifest the confidence to pursue good careers and reach high levels of achievement. Many find emotionally mature partners, enjoy satisfying long-term relationships, and create close families of their own. But despite their emotional needs being met in current relationships, the lingering trauma of childhood loneliness may haunt them in other ways, through anxiety, depression, or bad dreams.

p.43 For emotionally immature parents, it’s easier to tend for children physically rather than emotionally. When the child is seek, this gives them the reason to show a lot attention. (Physical aid is more sanctioned that emotional attachment.) Children may remember and use this attention as a proof of parent’s love.

p.54
Emotionally immature adults communicate feelings in this same primitive way. As parents, when they’re distressed they upset their children and everyone around them, typically with the result that others are willing to do anything to make them feel better.
p.59
They often use platitudes to support the authority of their role as a parent because, like roles, platitudes oversimplify complex situations and make them easier to deal with.